most days i just feel so frustrated tell me is this real or am i just being jaded maybe when i’m dead i’ll finally feel like i made it “please don’t talk like that” she said “you know that i hate it” on god i could do this all day you know i do magic with every word that i say but if im being honest life is tragic in a way and every night alone just makes me wonder why i stay so i pray light a candle cast a circle get real geeked up like i’m urkle let my body bathe in purple voyage voids to find the virtue promise that this hell won’t hurt you least no more than that which birthed you smell the grave so sweet like perfume let the ghosts come through to nurse you i drift into the night obscured devoid of light the twilight holds me tight out of mind out of sight light a candle cast a circle get real geeked up like i’m urkle let my body bathe in purple voyage voids to find the virtue promise that this hell won’t hurt you least no more than that which birthed you smell the grave so sweet like perfume let the ghosts come through to nurse you i drift into the night obscured devoid of light the twilight holds me tight out of mind out of sight let dusk deliver me unto reticent peace wash out all that i see that i might finally sleep

i can’t forget sometimes i feel so worthless always reminiscing bout the things you said lately i been thinking i’d be better of dead yesterday i didn’t even leave my bed— got about a million memories up in my head, if the drugs dollars ton’t kill me first it’ll probably be the feds, if you forget my name at least remember what i said i can’t believe i hope you dream about me i remember vividly the ways that you would doubt me probably wouldn’t still be here if you had been without me that’s real on god yeah i lied a lot always sneakin off sniffin dope in the bathroom try to play it off but i really couldn’t cap you but i was nowhere near as bad as what you said i guess it doesn’t matter with the life i’ve lead i guess it doesn’t matter if the bloods still red wanna see me dead so it’s “off with her head” if i’m being honest i don’t think it’d be the worst thing, whatever finally kills me probably wont even hurt me, i thought that i could trust you is the part that really burns me, a trauma bond just means i truly need you in the worst ways ay and now you got nothing to say you forget how i fed you and clothed you and kept you when you had no place else to stay my name is a curse that you spit from your mouth leaves your tongue with a terrible taste, a mirror for all that you’ve done is all that you can see when when you look in my face talk to me straight to be real i might light the whole city up yeah this ketamine gimme some giddy up you a pussy just tryn get your pity up opp olympics the way you be flippin em got the hazy up in me i’m sippin em smoke gelato im lazy im trippin yeah give a fuck what you say i stay drippin yeah and the smithy is what i stay grippin yeah - - - - i still thrive despite you yeah i still try i can’t lose and i can’t die despite all the tears i cry take this pain and run my game one day you gon say my name one day my whole life gon change one day i won’t feel the same to be real i might light the whole city up yeah this ketamine gimme some giddy up you a pussy just tryn get your pity up opp olympics the way you be flippin em got the hazy up in me i’m sippin em smoke gelato im lazy im trippin yeah give a fuck what you say i stay drippin yeah and the smithy is what i stay grippin yeah i can’t forget i can’t forget i can’t forget i can’t forget

straight up out the trenches if they ask about me tell them niggas mind they business if im being honest guess that im being dismissive i just came up out the grave to find out life is too expensive and the cost of being silent’s watching ogres eat the hymens all the innocence subsided on the day the sky divided swear you looked like christ ascended this story’s dark enough there ain’t no need for me to bend it aint no use in me pretending there’s a inch left in this engine my body’s bored with holes all rusted through at my invention my minds amok with scenes from secret sinister dimensions or maybe those are memories distorted by the tension of knives pressed firm against my chest i just wish that i could catch my breath maybe rest prolly best that you don’t see me at the bottom peekin at the demons if i spot em then i got em woah all evil down here all evil no good left... nowhere but you knew that though went back to the basics one day at a time just hittin vapes and rockin asics used to crush the monsters hittin meetings on the daily guess i knew that one day all the drugs was gonna fail me yah i can see your face but i can’t make out what you’re sayin i just fill in all the words and every little thing you taught me just know all of it was heard and if i forget this lesson may i be cursed a pact is just a promise we break before we burst a friends a flight of fancy that only fools put first in hopes of some reprieve from whatever we deem worse i just dig my grave whenever i do my dirt lit enough to act like missing you don’t hurt just wish i knew what else to do when the drugs don’t work

do you even know what you do? i guess im a mess just like you imma sad bitch yeah nails black got some track marks got some face tats need a hellcat with a LRAD need a new nine yeah the matte black, laser on the smithy so you know i’m not missing no warnin shots if i catch a nigga slippin apple watch all in her crotch, got her pants unzipping– think she gonna cuff me man she must be trippin, it’s the thot god yung elron lil perc yeah the hell spawn im a hellion rockin bell songs with a death wish living life wrong graveyard shorty with a glizzy and a forty do a line teleport me like a nigga rick and morty ripped the glory from my story to deviate from my worries alleviated the pressure of pacing a path so poorly constructed from its inception as if that should really matter im letters torn up and tattered an insect born for the splatter a penchant to hold the pattern of living life to the lowest of staying close to the grave of never learning my lesson of not remembering names of never counting my blessings until it’s too fucking late of washing away the dates with potion under the notion of keepin it all in motion of someone taking your place of autumn nights in the ocean of drowning under the waves of never playing your game and never seeing your face and how this could all be different and thinking that you’d be safe and wishing that i had stayed and always taking the blame the weight it still feels the same Que no sabes que es lo que hago? Ya me falta que Ya no tomo tragos Y ya me pasa que no se que hago Pero al rato ven que es lo que hago Moschino Brando en el bando Saben que yo mando, yo soy el comando Subcomandante Marcos al ataque Vamos ya buscando, vamos al volante Carlos el chacal, vienes a correr Te vamos a matar, tú lo vas a ver Sales pa correr, ya lo quieres pa comer Te falta ya el arroz pero vas a recojer Algo por ahí que te falta gasolina Vamos ya subiendo ya la adrenalina Saca guillotina, vamos a matarte Nos faltan pesos matamos a Bezos Buscamos a Marte matamos a Musk Vamos corriendo está muy cabron Viene la ira, buscando que miras Sacamos y chutas que vienes y tiras -PA- sacamos un disparo -PA PA PA- te buscamos en el carro -PA PA PA- viene para aqui, vienes para acá, te vamos a matar Ya no sabes que voy a hacer Siento que voy a enloquecer Ya no sabes que voy a hacer Siento que voy a enloquecer [Translation] Don't you know what it is that I'm doing? I'm missing something I don't drink no more And I still dunno what I'm doin But in a lil bit you'll see what I'm doin Moschino Brando in the bando You know I'm charge, i am the commander Subcomandante Marcos to the attack We looking for you, we taking the wheel Carlos the jackal, you gonna run We gonna kill you, you'll see You head on a run, you wanna eat You out of rice but you might pick up a bit Something round there but you're lacking gas We going up like adrenaline Pull out the guillotine, we gonna kill you We out of pesos we kill Bezos We looking for Mars to kill Musk We running over there, shit's tough Watch out the rage, we got you in our crosshairs Pull up to score you trynna shoot -PA- we shoot you --PA PA PA- we found you in your car -PA PA PA- You come round here, you go round there, we gonna kill you you'll see You don't know what I'm about to do I feel like I'm going crazy You don't know what I'm about to do I feel like I'm going crazy

made a full time job out of testin my luck i just 3D print a glock so you know that it’s tucked i just hit a fuckin lick now i’m textin the plug i ain’t worried bout the local it’s the fed that i duck thot god yeah i’m a real life weirdo on that gay shit so i need a fuckin queer ho never tuck dick got a stick on my rear tho i ain’t gotta shoot i just hit em w the leer woah fuck deescalation yeah i’m sick of the talking brought a extra mag so i came to get sloppy got the green light bitch you cannot stop me came from the bottom nigga you cannot top me wanna play games im like pippin w the shotty k on demand yeah that’s asap rocky anime girl, used to fuck w the pocky i just came to fuck stop tryna tiktok me just did a gram so you know that i’m faded pray my next pack don’t get confiscated fucked up the money and i ain’t even made it real shit i ain’t tryna die underrated nah i need me a bag with some land to match i got a lotta bad habits and a itch to scratch i need a bad lil shorty who stay out the traps i can’t wife em if they triflin cuz im such a catch you know i love to take the blame if it’s all the same maybe this time could be different we could try this will you do this for me? gave you my all you made a monster but i made a doll remember days when we used to stand tall we looked like giants how fast did we fall it’s nothing at all guess i’ll get it over it guess ill get soberish guess ill uncover the gifts that the clovers hid sometimes i stop to admire the mystery glide the divide of whats meant and what’s meant to be seek out the cracks that we hide in our history fish through the fissures reflect what you meant to me you didn’t mean a thing

push me away why do you push me away with all the words that you say through it these days been going through it these days i really thought you would stay see me the same now you don’t see me the same say my name say my name you can’t even say my name i still remember your face yah i still feel your embrace thought i was done with the needle but it wasn’t done with me no done with me done with me no wherever i go you know i got it wherever i go woah can’t trust nobody these days i can barely change my ways can’t ever say ive felt safe ‘cept in a pill or a bottle get money my motto my bullets is hollow heart cold like chicago don’t want no tomorrow keep living full throttle can’t ever claim comfort keep singin the sorrow yah i pray to goddess we make it if this don’t work i can’t take it my mind is racing running like urkle in circles for virtue of not feeling like you can easily replace me push me away why do you push me away with all the words that you say through it these days been going through it these days i really thought you would stay see me the same now you don’t see me the same say my name say my name you can’t even say my name i still remember your face yah i still feel your embrace do we make our own hexes have i crafted this curse before it ever gets better whys it always get worse yah always get worse yah just put me down you don’t want you don’t want you don’t want me comin round i swear i won’t make a sound swear to the silence i’m bound just put me under the ground let’s see what grows i know you i know you i know you know lately i feel like a ghost too many nights climbing into k holes step to me wrong and i’m wiping your nose so paranoid can’t let nobody close push me away why do you push me away with all the words that you say through it these days been going through it these days i really thought you would stay see me the same now you don’t see me the same say my name say my name you can’t even say my name i still remember your face yah i still feel your embrace i bleed for you i bleed

i’ll give you a hand cuz it’s a lot to unpack and you’re as subtle as a brick up in the small of my back i guess you just keep me around because there’s something you lack i guess it really makes no difference just as long as it lasts this time i swear to god that it wont be the same let’s just shirk responsibility and bury the blame we could explore the possibility your man is a lame i know it’s not fair to compre guess i just feel so ashamed sometimes i lay awake until the light starts to peek in i roll another blunt then do a line get to geekin im speakin on the sequence of events that be keepin me calm in the dawn while my eyes steady leakin and thinkin maybe there was more that i could’ve done if i knew anywhere worth going i would probably run on god please just tell me if i’m asking a lot cuz if i let myself fall for you i don’t know if i can stop tell me if you want it this way i don’t care what the emo kids say tune out the opinions of minions i raise my cup up to the heavens give a toast to beginnings i know that god just look away he sick of watching me sinning guess you could see it in my face and how my waist slowly thinning i know that things look bad right now but i suppose i been worse you can call it bad habits you can call it a curse face first i fall into a void that’s all too familiar now all my friends can say “the sorrow finally killed her”

(i know i put you through it all) i remember all the words you said four days stuck in a hospital bed all hooked up breathing off machines tryna figure out what it is that this all means your face lingers in the front of my mind if im being honest really fucked it up this time i know i let you down what goes will come around i swear i hear the sound of your heart tearing open as you look me in my eyes can we go back in time to days when we were laughing pretend this never happened at all i’d run but my knees too weak damn nurse put another fuckin tube in me must be lil baby’s first OD laid out “damn bitch it couldn’t be me” i been tryna duck this shit since 2013 PTSD so i couldn’t stay clean im a nice girl but my demons real mean might leave for me dead and they wouldn’t feel a thing swear they wanna see me turn into a blood smear just did a line how the fuck did i get here? always gettin high so i gotta keep a bitch near had to give it up i aint tryna die this year do you like me like i like you like i hate myself (sometimes) this is messy on its best day i still hate myself (sometimes) do you love me cuz i love you i just hate myself sometimes (maybe you could change my mind)

pull myself out of the screen am i seen? do i bleed? i clutch my pillow tight and pray that things will be alright i was born in 1988 felt the weight daddy didn’t stick around so you could say i wasn’t feeling great he used to be a cop so maybe that’s where i get all the hate turned into a ghost so i just chill at cemetery gates used to creep the graves jesus saves least that’s what they say never quite fit in like a djinn you can’t bottle me know a lotta bitches wanna gag at just the thought of me, i come by honestly— six feet down i oughta be, i exist ironically i fuck philosophically i sold so much drugs you think by now the feds be onto me, turned nineteen and i started selling weed turned 21 i got everything you need 24 came and i started shooting dope everybody sing the anthem no future no hope fast forward, baltimore let me try to stress the scope; had it all just fall apart day i found leah with the rope pull myself out of the screen am i seen? am i seen? i clutch my pillow tight and pray that things will be alright lost in confusion body bag blues hit my head like contusions chase the illusion the grandeur is calling the answers are stalling im fractured im fallen that’s all— fuck it we ball just keep on wilin dance every day to the grave with a smile and remember the moments we had and be glad that the good at least outweigh the bad im just so fucking sad

fuck a resurrection this is chaos cult revival got a rifle for my rival got a blower in my bible if a gumshoes try to catch me get a closed casket recital you could say that change is vital seen the boots tapping the spinals seen the rogues gone off the rhino fuck the streets up keep em guessing every breath we takes a blessing each life we lose is a lesson in never trusting the clever to sever ties from the ever and putting faith in the heathens to exorcise all the demons it’s moot brian say we in the darkest of timelines the root is the evil that we heard through the grapevine i shoot at anyone who put my mind in a decline i guess im sick of waiting so it’s time that i take mine what do you know about me? do you really wanna see what i see? you can find me in the city pistol tucked, got the ketamine up in me shoot it up don’t give a fuck yah i know these things take time the bow it always breaks i push the needle in then i dissociate if i just close my eyes will the wicked world around me finally just fade away, this i pray let me take this last breath and as my body decays better days sometimes i wish this was phase yah i just wanna lay beside you maybe that’s too forward maybe everything is horror sorry if i’m untoward im just trying to find my balance the chalice was full of malice i drank and it gave me ballast a galaxy ever gallant a palace to place the pallet a shorty to toss the salad im valid and if you need another one im not khalid so hit rewind and take the time to let your mind take in all the fuckin ad libs